Curls and Tresses

An issue that we are all worried about is the current economic slump and we will get to that in a bit. But before that, I need to tell you about what happened to me the other day.

It happens when you least expect it. It’s happened to nearly everyone in fact. A haircut that's had you in tears by the time you've arrived home! It usually right before an event that is bound to attract all the people that you know who own an 18X zoom camera.

So on the very fateful day my cousin and I marched to the swanky new beauty salon. We had a very compelling reason to go to a new beauty salon instead of the friendly neighborhood shop down the lane... we had peanuts for brains. Now I know the only difference between these two places is organic juice. As I was whisked away to my chair for the cut of my life, I explained to my stylist(now nemesis) the kinda cut I wanted and she nodded her head vigorously. Little did I know That she would have nodded just as vigorously had I been talking to her some Slovakian language. As she chopped away at my hair, inch by inch, and the black locks fell to the floor, I began to understand the feeling that comes with a bad cut. Did she know what she was doing? But naively I convinced myself I’d get through the ordeal unscathed...
I heard my cousin mutter something incoherent. Sympathies I thought. (I later got to know that she was thanking the Lord that I went in first.)The mood there was temperamental... I was flying into quite a temper and was convinced that my stylist was mental.

I wish I had a picture (I know you think I’m exaggerating), but at the time I wasn’t emotionally strong enough to digitally archive my tragedy.

It takes an about three months to recover from a bad cut and another three months to convince yourself to get one more. It took me almost a year since the tragic event to write this. But I still do not find words to describe how my hair looked then.

Frankly I do not know how somebody can think about the economic slump at a time like this. Maybe we should all just learn to love hats.

What's in a name??

Ever wondered how many Hot chips and Shanti Sagars Bangalore has?

In fact any address would be incomplete without a "next to Shanti Sagar" or "opposite hot chips".

All buses in Bangalore would literally lead to a Shanti Sagar stop. Add to this the legendary New... "New Shanti Sagar" , the rusty board would proclaim.. Even though the place is as old as a hill. Not just metaphorically speaking mind you…but a really old hill.

Ever noticed how most medical shops are named Lakshmi? And how initials play a vital role for most hardware and textile shops.. G.M.T granites.. or for the benefit of people with poor pronunciation..AAR JAY textiles. Some people displayed their penchant for translations...Mithai Sweet shop…Prarthana prayer house…This leaves us with the branded outlets and a handful of shops which have..erm..rather unusual names..

I happened to see this small electrical shop in a gully right next to my office It was named Faraday Electricals. The name was so apt. .. simple but thoughtful.. Another boutique cum beauty salon was named Lipstitch.. kinda different na? SPEX APPEAL - An eye wear shop on my way to commercial street..! I have to admit i like the guy's cheekiness! Some struck me really funny.. A furniture shop named SOFART.. I still wonder how the owner's teenage son or niece did nothing to change this ludicrous name!

The board on the first floor of a building proclaimed "Bangalore Body Builders".I peered in on my way to the second floor only to find that it was a construction company.. much to my utter dismay..

Then there are some rather On-your-face names..Urgent xerox and print outs..Women's maternity shop..

Whats in a name? Shakespeare had once said. I am sure as hell he was not thinking about shops then!

PS: Just last week, I came across a brightly lit shop- Underwear world. It was right next to Ganesh juice stall!

Sales!!

Its that time of the year again.. when shopportunities come knocking at your door!With newspapers screaming sales everyday , its pretty hard to turn a deaf ear(or is it blind eye) to them.
Buyology is a teacher.. Not a subject matter! It teaches u a whole bunch of stuff..not to question well established facts..Anything that you really like at a sale will never have a discount.. Even if it is, It will be a maximum of 10% and will be only be available in a size larger and smaller than what you need.In the highly unlikely event that the above two are not true(studies show that the possibility of this happening is about 1 in a 2343 light years.),then you will never find it in the color or the pattern you like...The other line moves faster... If you change lines, the one you just left will start to move faster than the one you are now in..
Mathematics.. it took me a while to figure out that 40% + 50% off did not equate to 90% off.And it would be path breaking innovation if our mobiles had a new unit in the converter.. value points to money and the other way round..
And to be more observant.. of * that can play havoc with your budget ..of the condition written in ta smallest font(-8 , is my guess)..
My extreme fondness for discounts has driven my mother to develop a pathological loathing of every conceivable form of sale.. and the encounter with my dad after my spree is a perfect example for "past perfect" and "present tense"!One of my friends , however, found the sales tainted!he was curious as to why every shop had a rather mild sulphuric word on display(sale in Hindi)!I find the whole experience extremely therapeutic. I have been in and out of some shops so many times off late that they might as well as install a revolving door just for me!Whoever said money cannot buy happiness didn't know where to shop!True story!

Moving Blues!

The whole idea of moving into a new place..the smell of fresh paint..new furniture..lotsa new stuff.. is a really nice feeling..but the actual process of moving.. is quite an ordeal!I picked up carton boxes from my friendly neighborhood superstore.. label them elaborately, my friends advised..Junk , junk and more junk?? i wondered.All the good for nothing trinkets which i hoped will be good for something that i had so painstakingly collected over the years had to be smuggled into my new hideout lest my mom laid her merciless hands on them! Alas, All the paper clippings of BSB,Boyzone and Dravid, Barbie dresses, Stones from broken bangles..met their destiny..
After moving more than a dozen cartons, a rather conservative estimate, mind u.. my room finally looked more crowded than an airport terminal..Suddenly all my stuff seemed to have developed a mind of my own.. ear rings and socks and my salwar suits separated faster than the bollywood brothers at Kumbh Mela!Carpenters and Plumbers who had decided to turn up only during the new moon's added to the problem.
One month down the line.. Things are finally in place!My Ear rings and my socks have long stopped acting like the like poles of a magnet!! and my trinket box is getting half full again!
PS:Right now all i need is a brand new plasma tv and a playstation..please pledge ur donations via email.. :P

Rhymes and Reasons

Kids are exposed to too much violence on television... Most parents lament... but as someone once said “There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?”
Come to think of it. Most of the nursery rhymes enjoyed by kids do have their fair share of violence... Most here refers to a count that is more than the number of times Elizabeth Taylor said I do... Quite a number huh?

Lets see... off the top of my head I am thinking ‘Hush a bye baby, on the tree top, When the wind blows the cradle will rock’! Would someone care to explain why in the name of god, any person would tie a cradle in the highly ludicrous location mentioned. Not good parenting if you ask me! Stark resemblance to a rather infamous incident by wacko Jacko huh? ‘London Bridge is falling down’ seems to have caught the fancy of not just the kids, but of a certain man who has ‘bin’ a household name for a while now. ‘Three blind mice’ where the farmer's wife cuts off the mice’s tails! Very inconsiderate… in fact as inconsiderate as competing with a one legged man in a serious butt kicking competition! Don’t even get me started on ‘Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie’... It’s as amoral as it can get! Peter, the pumpkin eater sounds mentally unstable to me. If he had a wife and could not keep her, why the heck didn’t she divorce him on grounds that he had gone bonkers!

Sitting on the walls and having falls, breaking crowns and tumbling down, monkeys jumping on the bed and banging their heads( lesser said about this the better… lest it offends a certain Mr.Symonds), old women and kids living in a shoe house ,cats being thrown into wells , creepy spiders and lots more.. In fact I think about 15% of the rhymes are more violent than the remaining 85%.(Its true!!). Makes you wonder about how well prepared the kids are!

One has got to give credit where its due! I think this rhyme:
Row Row row a boat,
gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life’s but a dream.

Just sums it all up!

At the end of the canal..

There he was... His face close to mine... His eyes intense. This was it, I thought and shut my eyes. Sigh....

DRILL!! And thus began my root canal treatment...

A week earlier I sat at the waiting room, as I sat helping detective Sam and Dudley find all the eight toothbrushes in a picture of a house which looked suspiciously like No.4, pivot drive (streetlight... mirror.. door handle.. they were all shaped like toothbrushes!) , I was led into the dentist’s desk. One look at my tooth was that was required for him to announce ROOT CANAL! He went ahead cheerfully explaining the nuances of the treatment. He obviously believed that RC was the best thing that happened to mankind... after the discovery of fire of course.
I fretted and worried... i brush twice a day... Then why... My sisters chorused “all roads go the dentists’ way”... After much deliberation and procrastination... My friends will vouch for the fact that I am the undisputed queen of procrastination... I finally found myself at his desk waiting for the treatment to begin.
Lotsa shots (ouch!!), drilling (ouch ouch!!), strong saline solutions (yes... I can still taste them sometimes) and lotta searching for my root canals (my friend is still sure he was searching for his very slim and probably limited edition of omega or tag heuer which fell off his wrist into my mouth). With decipherability that would put a rather skilled worksman to shame he told me about cementing and measurements.
I am finally fit enough to eat ice cream without flinching and chew on both sides. And oh did I tell you... I am going to be “crowned” next week!:)